i wish u were here

i wish i was there

its the same old story time and time again

why must i always play this game

a gambler always staring at a deck of cards

ready to throw away every thing he owns just for one last hand

to cheat the faits and pray u have luck in ur corner

i guess this is just my fait to look at the deck just remember what it was like to play the game and win how good it felt with lady luck by my side

but to never have such a feeling again

like the purpouse for life has been ripped right from u

like a zombie roaming around dead but still alive with no purpouse but to go on.

some days it feels as though not even death is by my side any more

and only life is left full of opertunitys yet left so damn bitterly tastless

once felt pround to feel as if i had the title of king of hearts

yet now with out a queen the only tittle that remains....

......is the suiceid king...

well i guess in the end only a fool could think he could be a king or a winner

hell atleast a fool can be left to say he is a lover not a fighter

though not even i can say that any more with no one left to love
maybe it was a wrong turn or something i had done in a past life to have this hapen.

or maybe just maybe this is hell my own little personal hell to go threw a life time of mental and emotional tourment mostly of my own doing.

well if that is the case than i supose i am atleast the king of my own hell to bear. so i'll site here with my deck of cards and keep playing for as long as i can and keep beliveing in the false hope that only some day lady luck will come back to me to site in my lap once again.