Broken
By HattoriHanzo
Here I lay, your broken hero, slow surrender
Born in to the grave I was never alive at all
This body limp before you holds no answers
So sad to say there was no rise before the fall.
Forgive me not my Dear, my heart is empty
I offer you no comfort in my passing
When I lay to rest you too shall sleep eternal
Blood fills your bed – death everlasting.
Into this lake you burn for your betrayal
This blade still deep inside my broken back
With salted wounds I speak with wicked vengeance
May fire be your end as night is black.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2007 HattoriHanzo
Comments on "Broken"
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On Monday, May 28, 2007, Mari
(419) wrote:
heh
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A former member wrote:
the 1st poem of urs i read was bleed the whore. This is the 2nd and i love this one 2. Must have known some shitty people if ur writes r based on them
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On Wednesday, February 14, 2007, zanewill
(82) wrote:
very profound that this came from the same place as the sick man. thanx for ur comment on my stuff. write-on
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On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, Mylissa
(825) wrote:
this was tragic...crushing...great write.
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On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, HattoriHanzo
(21) wrote:
thx shards. i was try to get a broken-rhyme sound and thats why it doesnt flow well. sort of experimenting cuz i get sick of making easy-listening rhymes. kno wut i mean? thx 4 your comments.
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On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, ShardsofSilence
(219) wrote:
Concept well conveyed. It could flow a bit better in the first 2 stanzas, but you ended very strongly. I love that last stanza. Powerful. Concluded the piece well.