Broken

By HattoriHanzo

Here I lay, your broken hero, slow surrender
Born in to the grave I was never alive at all
This body limp before you holds no answers
So sad to say there was no rise before the fall.

Forgive me not my Dear, my heart is empty
I offer you no comfort in my passing
When I lay to rest you too shall sleep eternal
Blood fills your bed – death everlasting.

Into this lake you burn for your betrayal
This blade still deep inside my broken back
With salted wounds I speak with wicked vengeance
May fire be your end as night is black.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2007 HattoriHanzo
Published on Sunday, February 11, 2007.     Filed under: "Rage" and "Poetry"
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "Broken"

Log in to post comments.
  • Mari On Monday, May 28, 2007, Mari (425)By person wrote:

    heh

  • A former member wrote: the 1st poem of urs i read was bleed the whore. This is the 2nd and i love this one 2. Must have known some shitty people if ur writes r based on them

  • zanewill On Wednesday, February 14, 2007, zanewill (84)By person wrote:

    very profound that this came from the same place as the sick man. thanx for ur comment on my stuff. write-on

  • Mylissa On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, Mylissa (845)By person wrote:

    this was tragic...crushing...great write.

  • HattoriHanzo On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, HattoriHanzo (21)By person wrote:

    thx shards. i was try to get a broken-rhyme sound and thats why it doesnt flow well. sort of experimenting cuz i get sick of making easy-listening rhymes. kno wut i mean? thx 4 your comments.

  • ShardsofSilence On Tuesday, February 13, 2007, ShardsofSilence (222)By person wrote:

    Concept well conveyed. It could flow a bit better in the first 2 stanzas, but you ended very strongly. I love that last stanza. Powerful. Concluded the piece well.

Contribution Level

HattoriHanzo's Favorite Poets
Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]