Confused

It feels like every time we meet I have feelings of love for you again.
Like my feelings for you were refreshed since last time I saw you.
In the end I almost always hurt, for you do not have this problem of mine.

But with every day of distance we keep apart, the pain subsides, and we meet.
I feel anew.
Explanations can not justify why I feel this way.

Hopelessly devoted to you is the only term that comes to mind.
Forever loyal, no matter how I feel about you.
In one lyrical term:
Love you or hate you, it’s still an obsession.

I can’t seem to find a middle ground for my feelings for you
My emotional spectrum for you has only those two options.

The more alone I am with you, the more I hurt.
And the more I am with you around your boyfriend, the more I hurt.
The cycle begins anew.

I just wish I could control this, all of this.
The one thing I can’t control, are my feelings for you.
Although I wish I really could.
…and for that I am sorry.