Despised

I am myself.
Loner, recluse,
but never detached.

I am a liar.

I lie, with a smile,
with my shoulders back,
measured footsteps.

All for the sake of feigning confidence.

Sometimes I believe the lie,
and it becomes truth.
Thanks to a good hair-day, a good “me”-day,
a random compliment.

I’m too conceited to think that it too, is a lie.
I would never give false compliments.
(Yet another lie, though my brain twists it into common sense,
to be yet another truth I fool myself with.)

Awkward silence, I retreat
to lose myself inside my mind
where the noises never cease,
and playing in the background, Greensleeves.

You think that I think that I’m better than you,
I do. Though most often, I merely think
I’m better off without you.

Your empty minds will not feed the chaotic hunger in mine.
And you will only regurgitate the things you hear.
So very much like baby birds, fluttering, and thinking that’s enough,
but you’ve never bothered to learn to fly.

This is why, I’ve come to despise you.
Stupidity is not a nice word,
but I think you’d find it educating, even liberating,
if you'd add it to your limited vocabulary of four letter
adjectives, that you don’t even know how to use.

Yes, yes I despise you!
From the deepest, darkest corner of my heart,
to the untapped recess of my noisy mind, I despise you.

And I hate the part of you that is mine.