I know...

I can't look into eyes ever
to see how you really feel
I used be able to shut out feelings
and let you take over
then i started learning
more about my emotions
and the way i truely see the world
then last night
you told me that you wanted to be my friend
and i laughed in your face
i do not have any friends
I will never have friends
we ate a bit and went back to your place
our bodies hugged
as we slowly drifted onto your bed
i thought i could let go
of what was once mine
for just one more time
then as you explored
i started to cry
in fear that i would never see
what is truely in your eyes
i started to shake
and push you away
you said you were sorry
but that lasted only for a minute
you are only a guy
was the next thing i heard
from those lips which lie
a guy who gets this way
and has no control
i cried inside because i couldn't
maybe its cause i want
i want to love again
so at four
i sat up
with nothing accomplished
and made my way to the dark world
sat inside a place i knew was safe
and let the tears roll down my face
i know it isn't my fault
i know it will be okay