why the fuck do i have all of thesse emotions?

always caring to much and trying to hard.

egerly offering my heart on my sleve.

one that once was locked up so tight not even the purist light couldn't reach.

and yet once i let some one get to it its out for good egarly awaiting some one to come and hold it and to be held.

ready to be loved and return the love.

and yet all it does is feel hurt.

all of the time.....in fact i even hurt my self today. right as i write this poem infact.


pain is what gives the insperation and yet i already have had enough of it in this life and yet i just keep shoveling it on.

and now im dumpin it on and no one can stop me to.


because down deep i probably love it. and i probably deserve it to.

no infact i must deserve it.

why else would i let it happen so much.

and why else would i hurt others so much with out even meaning to.

i just can't wait for hell so i guess hell has brought its self to me.

eternal damn nation and pain.

to hell with love.

to hell with pain.

to hell with relationships.

and to hell with all this fuckn dramatic shit.

even if it is only in my head.

im going fuckn insane and no one can help me................................

cuz im already there...