ocd, anyone, anyone?

fears, feel conquered.
have worked hard to face them.
night falls, creeping- creeping.
settle into sleep.
get up, check the alarms, check the doors(relock three times), check the stove, the the kids.
OCD extraordinaire.
return to hopeful sleep.
thoughts amuck.
remember Dad- recent death.
cry, cry, cry.
mind rolls.
did i miss any appointments?
get up and check datebook.
could have written something wrong.
write a big note to remind to check tomorrow.
return to hopeful sleep.
money, money, money.
how will i survive on this check?
what bills to pay, stretch a few dollars.
what food will feed?
mind rolls as i check the window, and relock the doors four time.
what was my behavior today?
did i help anyone?
did i follow my progam?
what the hell step am i on- i will check tomorrow.
mind rolls.
two teenage boys- worries beyond belief.
mind rolls as i return to hopeful sleep.
my dad, my dad- finally i cry myself to sleep.