Why is it that i always try to please every one?

Even if it means sacrifceing my self.

I just let people push me and push me with a big smile on there face.

And yet i say nothing.....

Always willing to take the fall to give alittle more with a smile on my face as well.


But on the inside im not smiling or smirking.

Mearly crenging at the pain of knowing just how close i am to breaking.

Giving and giving.

never taking.

And yet the one thing i do try to take i can never have..........

Ever time i try to get close emotionaly or physicly.

Faight or maybe just irony intervinse to take away the one god damn thing i desire with all of me.

And i can feel the demon rising up now ever so slowly.

Rising up to the surface...

And yet thats not what scares me......its the part of me thats rasing him up.

To say the hell with all the rest and to damn those who would get in the way.

To take control of me and let out the anger i have locked up for almost 17 years.

Surrounding me in a wave of fouriosity.


And when it does no one will stop to think to blame those who pushed only
to blame me for what i will become.

Over looking that no one ever tried to look beyond to see the real me in side.

Or to be straight and plainly honest with me in all its better sweetness.

This is why i have once again receeded to darkness.

Back to expressing my self threw my dark little poems and rants.

Giving out warnings of the demon who's starting to win the eternal battle inside.

And slowly im starting to see threw the haze that the demon i fight and keep in chains...

............is me.