The Deceit I worship in You

Icy droplets sting my naked flesh
As I stand before you unveiled and vulnerable
Under the weight of your stare,
Of your judgment,
Of your unbreakable binding spells
That keeps me in your servitude
While you inject yourself into me
Like a drug so powerful I’d rather die
Then live without the euphoria
That comes with it.
The hot liquid ecstasy filling every organ
With satisfaction and completeness
As my heart beats you through my veins.
I know you’ll kill me someday
But it’s worth the risk as
I place thoughts of you
To my head like a semi-automatic
With a fully loaded magazine,
Finger on the trigger
With the safety off,
Hands trembling as I reach for you.
I draw you in knowing the danger.
I pull you close enough to me
That your venom feels hot on my skin
Burning away the years of abandonment.
The temple where once I worshipped,
Beautiful and clean now lies desecrated,
No longer holding the wonder it did then
And yet I bow before you and beg
Your permission to enter once again.
The years of neglect
Showing in the lines of your
Faded smile still captivating
Evoking heat from my dormant skin.
Slowly you breathe life
Back into my stiffened lungs
That have became hardened
By the absence of your scent
Lingering in the air that surrounds me.
I see your deceit,
Your lies, your games
As if they were written on white cotton
Walls with the blood
You’ve drained from me and
Yet here I stand
Willing to forgive
One more time,
Forget all the pain it took a lifetime
To endure and open my arms to you,
To bare my neck to you
And invite you in to feed upon my
Innocence as if I didn’t know
What you are.