Mundane Monday

It was a fine morning with birds a-chirpin’ and rabbits a-fuckin’
When a revelation blind-sided me like a redneck would his Bitch after she at the last piece of jerky

This concept of life that would forever change my outlook On the world
Came about as a homeless man that happened to have one ear And an eye patch
Grabbed my leg and demanded spare change as a stench unlike Any other I have encountered seemed to emit through his Destitute pores, covered in what appeared to be…shit

I looked at him and after a long pause I told him
“That’s a mighty fine eye patch.”
And I continued my walk into the world and went about my Mundane day

Oh the agony, of when I woke
Oh the tragedy, of when I rose
Your life is shit
And I’m sure you can’t stand me
Oh someone help me
I think I’m going sane

Waking up behind that green dumpster
In a whore-infested alley was probably and would probably Be
The best thing that ever happened to me
I didn’t, however, appreciate the puddle of urine I was Laying in
“Well,” I thought in relief, “at least its not crap”,
But that ship sailed when I turned my head toward the other Side

Oh the agony, of when I woke
Oh the tragedy, of when I rose
Your life fucking sucks
And I’m sure you hate my guts
Oh someone help me
Is this sanity?

I rose up from the ground and brushed off whatever crack vials and used condoms
That were stuck to my body and stared down in shame at what would have been
Morning wood had I not been completely fucking naked
Just then, as I made my way to the street,
I found on the floor next to the dumpster,
An eye patch and I thought “What a nice guy”
Now you may think I’m being sarcastic or facetious,
But I’m being completely sincere
He knew I like that eye patch
All he wanted in return was my clothing and a few moments
Of unconscious pleasure

Oh the point
The point to this tale
Yes, the point
There is a moral
Don’t watch your back
Piss off the right people
And you’ll wake up
An incredibly better someone

SLUTULS