My actions run a labrynth of destruction
And I'm fully aware that I'm to blame
Living life clean isn't how I function
Cause when I'm sober, I'm crippled by shame
Shame from what I've resorted to
And shame from the wisdom I've sacrificed
I'm mourning the loss of opportunities once new
With only this escapism to suffice

Think of it as a defense mechanism
The way my emotions abandon so quickly
I flee from any chance that you might see them
And remain as undesirable as I can be

I don't wish to be acquainted with compassion
Nor do I want the closeness of it's warmth
I know them to be comfortably decieving
I prefer isolation's chill for all it's worth

I refuse to live my life as someone I'm not
If I were to love and need, I'd be living a lie
So I'm not ashamed of how my battles were fought

The best thing is for me to hide
But I'm seen as a coward for not seeing things through
It's impossible for me to be around them and still survive
Cause they make me ache for the love I'm immuned to