Not numb enough

Want to feel what numb is?
Touch me and feel the sting of blistering wounds
Trace the bandages covering me like skin
Gaurding the scabs of torture within

My emotions have finally died
Along with the rest of me
If only it would erode my mind
How peaceful that would be

I see no point in speaking
Unless it's to torture, brand, or maime
Inside the loathing is leaking
I live to throw it's filth your way

I've been locked in this rut for years
Learning to live with this putrid cancer
Mutilating myself at the sign of tears
And claiming death as my final answer