Love did this to me...

What I did
Was a selfish act
What I did
Was immature
Totally reckless
Utterly thoughtless
I will admit
I don’t deserve her
Im just sorry
It took me so long
To realize what she is to me
What she did for me
I don’t even want to make an excuse
For is there is none
Nothing would justify what I did
But what I realize now
Is that I love her
With every ounce of my heart and soul
I feel angry at myself
I feel disappointed
I let her down
She loved me
More that I could realize
At that time
I didn’t know what it was
I couldn’t fathom it
But now
I’ve matured
And I understand
More now what she felt towards me
And I understand her hatred
And how she despises me
I don’t want to let her go
But I don’t want her to suffer
Suffer at the thought of me
With someone else
Ive been through that before
Its painful
Its literally physically painful
The gut wrenching
Heart-pounding pain
That only comes
From the deepest of emotions in a human
Bleeding once again
The transparent drops from my eyes
I wish I had a second chance
I wish I could do it again
Just for her
I wish I could be
Everything she wants
Everything she thinks
Would make a perfect husband
A companion
Nothing less than perfect
She deserves nothing less than perfect
She is amazing
A human being above all others
She came up clean
Out of a dirty place
She will survive in this cold world