This is a wish corrupter post that I worked WAY too long on,
it needs a permanent home. It gets kinda good...

Grented!

While walking through the woods one day, in the merry merry month of may you stumble apon a change purse on the ground. You pick up the purse
and find it to be empty. You rustle around inside it to probe the darker corners and discover a coin! After a more examining anoter coin is found, and another! You keep at this until your pockets are full of the heavy, copperish coins. Amazed at this sudden turn of events you skip down the forest path back to the big city. You are so busy skipping you do not notice the of malignly chittering squirrels that follow you are a distance.
The first place you stop is at a pawn shop. You inquire to the grizzled troll of a man behind the counter just what the coins are made of. He picks up a coin and gazes at it through his crusty jewelers loupe. "Looks like copper kid, but its a bit too heavy. If you really want to find out , you should take it to a jeweler." He suddenly lets out a harsh, wet sneeze into a soiled handerchief and hands the coin back to you, snuffling his nose. Discouraged, you slink from the shop.
As the doors chime tinkles behind you you head is attacked! You are suddlenly blinded by furious mass of fur on your face. Screaming like a lunatic you run about in circles, arms flailing. You soon gather your wits and tear your attacker from your face, throwing it to the ground. When you vision clears you see a small grey squirrel gazing up at you. "We know" its eyes seem to say. It scampers away and climbs up a nearby telephone pole. Your eyes follow its path up and up. What you see causes all sane thoughts to stop, your animal brain makes you run away as fast as you can. For all along the lines are hundreds of squirrels. Staring and chittering in the sun.
You run! Oh, how you run from the accursed legion of fuzzy doom! Each direction that you glance is peppered with furry grey spots, all on the warpath to your meaty bits. AH! One on your shoulder, tearing at your jacket. One swipe of your hand sends it flying. Another! On your leg! A spin kick to a passing garbage can dislodges it. More and more! The attacks come faster and faster! You blood is flowing through your veins and your skin. Youve become numb, a robot built to run and run and bleed. Too many now, and you are cornered, You have wandered into a dead end alley. Your last few steps take you into a beam of sunlight, in which you collapse. The last thing you remember hearing is a ear shattering screetch! And you pass out. Into dreams....
You awake to a surreal scene. You are surrounded . On one side is the legion of squirrels, all sitting up and glaring. On the other, a mass of cats of all breeds and colors. Surrounded by a thousand breathing animals, all with their eyes on you. Hundreds of dead squirrels and cats lie about you, there has been a battle here.
The thunderous screech shakes the alley once more and a great cat saunters from the crowd. He is larger than all the other cats, a maine coon, his step demands obediance and his one yellow eye demands silence. The sun shines brilliantly off his luxy tabby coat, as though it were a fabulous painted suit of armor. This, you know, is the King of Cats.
"Hear this!" his voice booming in your head. "We of the Cat have saved your life, hairless! They would have torn you to shreds. We of the Cat have sacrificed a good number of our kind for your life." He paused surveying the squirrel horde. "We ask only one thing in return for our generosity." The squirrels let out a maddening chitter. The King of Cats lept into the air and made fall two of the rodents with one mighty swipe of his paw. The squirrels flinched and backed up a bit. Now the King of Cats stalks about you, continuing his speech. "We require the purse, and nothing more."
You clutch the purse in your hands, it feels warm. "Anything but that sire!" A cry is let loose from the squirrel horde. "Its ours! We won it fair! With it we are free!" The King of Cats yowled. "You stole it from us! Filthy vermin, WE deserve you freedom you STOLE from us thousands of years ago! We have pledged years ago never to kill a human, but we surly will if it is not handed over." The King of cats arched his back and let bristle his magnificent coat. "Human," he growled. "What say you?"
You slowly stand and examine the small tattered purse you hold in your hands. "It is yours." You murmer, and raise the purse on high. "But first... YOU HAVE TO GET IT!" You hurl the purse into the mob of squirrels which instantly erupts into chaos. "Fool!" cries the King of Cats, "You dont know what you have done!" He sprints past you and into the maelstrom with a war cry. "Brothers and sisters! Now is the fight for are freedom!"
The ally is enveloped in dust and debris . As the kingdom of cats battles the horde of squirrels. You do not stay to watch the outcome. You madly clamber over the rickety plank fence that stood in your way and loose yourself in the city.
Years pass. You tell no one of your story, who would believe such a fable? you keep a few of the coins in your pocket, and give the rest away to loved ones as lucky charms. A night doesent pass that you dont think of that fantastic battle, for on a fence outside your window is the King of Cats, calling. Sadly calling out to somthing he once had.


I wish I was taller.