I was'nt (was) always an apparition.

remove/ replace/ recapture these moments
thats what you use to do
and i know it hasnt been long for you
but ive been trying to get to getting better
...and it seems like forever to me
to be honest (honestly)... you make me alittle sick
'cause i know if i get a good look at you im not going to stop
you didnt need the attention because i gave it to you
and at the risk of growing apart...
(at the risk of growing up)
...at the risk of every moment i remember meaning less to you
by god you havent even noticed (im fading away)

its not a ploy to get your attention or to see how much you care
its me realizing youll always keep me (cold,) on the outside looking in
so you keep pretending (im not "here")
keep thinking this is no more than your discression
(youll never notice)

the only sense to be made of it is :
you pretend im not
so why not not be?
(i withdraw)

.... i remember everything weve done togeather (every kiss every letter)
and now i see it like you do
it doesnt mean much between me you
and silence... being ignored

i use to cling to this
it was the only thing i had really
and i wont lie
it doesnt make me smile when you make the point to single me ou
to kiss me and try to keep me close to you...
... tell me im no differernt than anyone else
then say that
"you know i didnt mean any of that."
("i do love you. just because i dont love you the way you want me to doesnt mean i dont love you.")

then talk to everyone in the room except for me
who am i kidding...
... id do anything for you (within our sick little reasoning)

i guess i just have to sit back and let you be misreble (watch you destroy whats formally apart of me)

one less thing not to have
one less thing not to hold
one less phone call

you could live without the attention
(i was me who couldnt)