My mother says I move as if I'm dead
The only response I can think of is
I wish I were
I'm given food but I won't eat
I do not deserve to nourish this body
this body that has betrayed me and my family
I do not derserve love or hope or dreams
because even if there was a God
he'd cast me aside
I am so horrible and selfish
so unforgiving and meaningless
the only point to living is to die
so i dont understand why it takes so long
I hope the end is better than the beginning and middle
even if it were I would with hold it from myself
because only bad comes from my joy.