I went to the place we call our house hoping that you would actually be there
But right now, all I can do is lay here and stare
Out the window at the rain
It falls like my tears from all the pain
I run into this great wall of depression
Never letting you see my last expression
The pain crumbles my happiness over time
As the shadows devour and takes away all that is mine
I try to fake the happiness I feel and tell you that these smiles are real
I never tell you how i really feel
I lie to you, and I deceive
Until I feel that your eyes are ready to receive
My soul is a tattered, torn-up mess, and you made me that way
Beating me physically day after day,I'll lie through my teeth and tell you I'm okay
To push all your stares away, because you see these cuts upon my arms
You know you're the one who caused me this harm
All the things you've said seem to be set in stone
Not even caring when you call me drunk on the phone
All I want to do is sit here and cry
Without even knowing a reason why
So hard I want to lash out and beat you to death
But I don't want to be the cause of your last breath
So don't push on me, I will not take it
And don't give me your spirit, I promise I will break it
All the tears I've wept
Were because of all the promises you never kept
I said to myself that "I will make you sorry,make you pay"
As i played with the blade in hand,I knew that this was the day
I placed the blade against my brightly focused wrist
I thought to myself, it feels so good to bleed like this
So now my life has turned to dusk
All my blood is spilling; there is no one to trust
Emptiness caused my heart to shrivel up and dry
Someday the blood flow will stop, someday you will die
You walked into the room and you lost your spirit to my noose
You were filled with memories of your youth
There is no way for you to take a final bow
Because everything is going to die in this bloody decal
I'm forever denying your life to you here
Watch me speak these words of fear
I smile at your cruel melodies and grin at this erotic beat
I will put you in this inky black box of bad little secrets and that is where you'll keep
I died that day without a love, i knew
I turned out like this all because of you...