I am sorry I made you have Feelings for me.
It was intentional, nonmalevolant to boot.
But we cannot be with each other.
I cannot be with someone else.
I was attracted to your warmth,
To your ephemeral beauty,
To your blinding light.
But we cannot be.

For I know that no matter how hard you fight
The battle has been lost so long ago
And I know that you would try
Try to heal me, better me
But I need parts of you
Parts I cannot return
To fill in the cracks

You would give me your most invaluable belonging
Something you would have to give me because
No matter what - nobody can take this treasure
If it is not given with all your heart and soul
But I shall never take this from you
For I know you would regret
To have ever given it

Maybe not today or tomorrow or in 10 years
But as soon as you realise that it is futile
To try and get more of what is finite
Time cannot ever be reclaimed
I will fear for you leaving me
Hope for you leaving me
Fear for you staying
Fear for your soul

No matter how elaborate my mask of feelings may be
No matter how much you want this face to be real
Everything I can give is pain, despair and agony
Because you will realise then, no matter how
Much time you have given me no matter
What resource else you invested so
I will stay broken beyond repair
And nothing you gave willingly
Will get you anything in return
And ultimately you'll be left
With nothing

If you lift the mask nothing is left but my abyss
So I fear even more for you staying and hope
Even more that you can leave with whatever
It is you have of yourself that you can love
Or better still all of it if you leave right now
Because you might still think that I can
Become more like you and that you
Do not become much more like me
But as soon as you understand
It is all very much too late
Because the abyss
Cannot be filled
But it will never
Cease to take