The dopamine in my brain spikes every time I see you've written me to dissolve the pain
I don't need you
You're see through
Yet the ambivalence is killing me all the same
I wish that I could enter into your mind
Sift through all the soft tissue and implant my unique speaking patterns you call a rhyme
Words are inert; dead
Yet I find myself caring about nothing else
The meaning behind what you felt could never be explained
Enveloped within my own picture frame is forever how I will stay
I paint this canvas with my blood and guts
Taking it all out to expose it to you but it's never enough
We are forever alone
But can we be alone together?
I pretend that I don't but I am afraid when these bonds get severed
I wish to do nothing but push on the lever
The neurotransmitters are having a feast tonight
Behind the face of the person I can't stand that I call a beast I fight
We're all caught up in the same plight
But most don't see it
I'm glad that you can
Maybe one day we will find freedom
But for now we sit together; it's grand
Blind from the electrical impulses leaving me numb
I play the instrument of words like a hopeless bum
I do it for fun
I do it to run
I always thought that I would find someone I could understand
But now I know one day I will die by my own hand
Now is not the time
That much is clear
There is way too much for me to express with my breath but as the time comes near
I will prepare myself all I can
Or let myself go
I will rip my heart to shreds on this stand
While the rest just watch like a show
Laugh at me
Cry with me
Either way, the only certainty is the different directions we will go silently
Can we share this moment and make it last forever?
We grow while our souls are weathered
But at least we can do it together