My Incarcerator

He stands before me with my chains in his hands,
Shaking them loudly, my attention he demands.
I fight the desire to look him in the face,
but he pulls me closer, no escaping his embrace.

I turn to run and he pretends not to follow,
because he knows well that without him I'm hollow. 
So he'll wait for me to come back to him,
and he'll make me believe that he's my only friend.

When tears start to fall, he'll wipe them away,
and somehow convince me that I'm going to be okay.
He promises that he alone will not leave me,
that with only him I will find ways to be happy.

And yet in my heart I know the harsh truth,
I am his prisoner, each day becomes proof.
He'll tell me the lies that I've come to know well,
and with each whispered lie, drag me closer to hell.

I never thought I'd find myself captive to him,
and every day I'm his, the lights in my life grow dim.
For once in my life, I thought I'd escaped,
but in the blink of an eye, I again took the bait. 

Is there no way to break free from his grasp?
I yearn to to find freedom and never look back.
Taking the knife again in my hands,
I continue the addiction, I obey his commands.

I watch the blade work its magic on my arm,
bleeding out the agony, I find peace in self-harm.
No matter how hard I fight to break free,
The coping mechanism has now become me.