My Guardian Angel

I wish that you had been there,
to hear what they had to say about you.
I wish you’d seen all the lives you changed,
seen their memories leaking through.
I wish that you could understand,
the pain of your departure
Since the day you left us here,
so lonely, so confused.
 
Your mother didn’t say a word,
Lest her tears break up her voice.
Your father forced a broken smile,
He hadn’t much a choice.
Then they lifted you below the earth,
air thick with silent noise.
My heart inlaid with sorrow,
mixed with anger fresh anew .
 
How could you leave us all behind?
You didn’t warn us, no goodbye.
Did you not care you’d break our hearts?
That you’d leave us wondering ‘Why?’
It isn’t fair you chose to quit,
while we were standing ‘round you.
Your friends, your family here to help,
You didn’t have to die!
 
Yet in my heart I know the truth,
‘twas your secret pain that killed you.
You cared too much, you loved too deeply,
you carried our burdens too.
You hid from us what hurt you most,
We ignored it, but we knew.
The years of agony, the years of suffering,
from mental illness, alone, confused.
 
You did so well disguising your anguish,
your daily battle we easily forgot.
You pushed for ‘normal’, and yearned for ‘happy’,
it didn’t seem like such a lot.
Please forgive us our blindness,
for looking away when you were lost.
We saw but didn’t see you,
and now, how we suffer the cost.
 
My dearest friend, I am not angry,
all you wanted was your freedom.
Can I blame you now for choosing to leave,
to fly home to your Father’s Kingdom?
And though I cannot help but look back with painful tears,
I’ll hold tightly to the hope that you’ve found Eden
your happiness:
Your dream so dear.
 
A silent pledge I now make to you,
one I’m surrendering for safe-keeping.
The promise of love and support and protection,
for your family left broken and grieving.
I’ll do my best to aid them through,
to help them see you cared for them deeply.
I’ll do this in loving memory, my friend
And for myself to offer healing.
 
And now before I close my eyes tonight,
 for your promise I’d be grateful:
Wherever it is that you are this night,
 please rest in peace, my Guardian Angel.