One-sided friendships never last.
I learned this my 2nd day in 7th grade when I befriended a lonely boy,
who in return ignored me in the face of popularity.
And I was reminded yet again months ago,
when another friend turned and walked away...
no reason....
no real explanation.
And I'm always left wondering,
what did I do wrong?
What should I have done differently?

I am the friend that turns invisible once I am no longer needed.
The imaginary friend that is only noticed when things go wrong,
or no one else is there to turn to.
And while I don't mind being able to offer hope and encouragement...
I wish I could shed this invisible skin,
and become more than the imaginary friend....
become a lasting friend.

See, I believe that friendship is more than just a nice word;
more than just an occasional thing to use...
at your convenience...
when you're looking for validation.
And because I care too much,
and because I hate good-byes as much as I hate the smell of puke,
I convince myself that the fantasies I create,
the friendships I believe in,
will actually last.

But they never do.
I can care as passionately as Attila the Hun destroyed.
I can love as eternally as the existence of matter will remain.
I can hope as deeply as the center-most portion of the ocean plunges. 
Yet, my friendships always fade into
hallway "hellos",
quick nods,
and brief smiles.

Still, as I write this down,
I find I am not entirely lonely. 
I have my work, 
I have my words.

And that is sufficient. 
I am satisfied.