I wish I could travel amongst the constellations
but the sky won’t let me see the stars.
My thoughts soar past them through the galaxies
and amongst other properties that I’m not allowed to understand.
Why does my mind play these sick jokes on such a lost cause like me?
I’m deserving of little but…My mind tells me otherwise all the time.
Each aching breath of mine is shakier than the last,
creating an earthquake within my soul that is bound to crack the surface of my skin and tear me down.
The bitter taste of cigarette smoke simmers in my cracking lips and all I think of is the past and I don’t know when I’m going to go up,
when all that has happened is me falling down.
The deepness of this pain is aching my heart
and all of the bones in my body and my body is floating off into space where it belongs.
Getting absorbed by the angels of the night
and swallowing me into a place that’ll keep my safe from existing
in a place where I know that I’m not meant to be.
I don’t know what people that I can trust anymore,
I’ve lost so many that I need a map to find my way downstairs.
It’s like every hand that I hold let’s go and let’s me plummet into the Earth
into the darkness of no existence
and I can’t slow myself from falling faster and faster into the hands of below.
Holding on tightly to something that is letting me go.
All I want is to be with up high in a place free of worries and hope for the best. Because nothing is better than a mother’s touch right?
I feel close lined and rejected because I know that I cannot be gone,
and if I try, I only have to get “help” because I’m so broken.
I’m broken and I have to be fixed, but I’m a human right?
So why am I being treated like a glass doll.
All that is holding me together these days are tan bandaids sticking to the hairs on my arms and there is nothing that I’d want more than to lie with you and watch the world pass by, while we eat al l the food that we made together.
But I know that won’t happen.
And when I see you next you’ll be young and I’ll be the old one,
because we all know that death makes you frozen in time.
But I’m frozen on Earth.
And the constellations of my skin are holding me back
from flying with the stars with you.