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Bond Of Darkness
By Damon Tarloth
The web of lies your silver tongue does tell,
The sorrow and pain you direct my way,
I broke you out of your protective shell,
The reward I seek is the pain I crave...
Wounding each other deliberately,
On the edge of life with razor dreams,
Destroying each other completely,
The pain we inflict from demented schemes...
All that was once good is now sour,
We have nothing more to take or give,
Like a disease, each other we devour,
Hunger increasing as we barely live...
No way left to fix the past,
With nothing more left to say,
We're all but done, it's over now,
Always fated to end this way...
The visions play out to release our pain,
The script has been written for this final game,
Set in stone we both have a part to play,
I create the scene and yours is done silently...
The voices telling me it will be okay...
You are the paint in my artistic way,
Our blood splatters the canvas-like wall,
A masterpiece of unspoken Hell...
DAMON V. TARLOTH
(Altered Version)
May 18, 2014
The original version was written for a contest and I got 2nd Place. I have
altered that version up above in the hopes to have created a smoother flowing
piece.
YOUR FEEDBACK IS WANTED...
Altered Version VS Original Version
which one is better?
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Bond of Darkness
(Original Version)
The lies your tongue does tell,
The pain you direct my way,
I broke you out of your protective shell,
My reward is the exacting pain I crave...
Wounding each other deliberately,
Living life of razor dreams,
We destroy each other completely,
The pain we inflict from demented schemes...
All that was once good is now sour,
We have nothing more to take or give,
Like a disease, each other we devour,
To barely live...
No way to fix the past,
Nothing more left to say,
It's all but over now,
We were always fated to end this way...
The visions play out to release our pain,
The script has been written for this final game,
We both have a part to play,
But yours will be done silently...
The voices telling me it will be okay...
You are the paint in my artist way,
Our blood splatters the canvas-like wall,
A masterpiece of unspoken hell...
DAMON V. TARLOTH
(Original Version)
April 25, 2014
The original version was written for a contest and I got 2nd Place. I have
altered that version in the hopes to have created a smoother flowing piece.
YOUR FEEDBACK IS WANTED...
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
Copyright 2014 Damon Tarloth
Author's Note:
My Best 3 Poems are PURELY TAINTED / THERE IS NOTHING MORE THAN THERE WAS BEFORE / SEDUCTIVE PAINComments on "Bond Of Darkness"
Log in to post comments.
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A former member wrote:
The original version flows easily through my consciousness. The atmosphere of pain and sorrow is perfectly represented.
The altered version is probably more adjusted for literary contests, it's more sophisticated concerning the poetic embodiment.
Great work fellow dark soul!!
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On Friday, November 14, 2014, Damon Tarloth
(143)
wrote:
You gave me exactly what I wanted... You compared and commented on both pieces. You gave an in depth critique, thank you very much for going further than just saying "I liked it". I take away more from your words because you pointed out why and found the good parts that they both bring out. As you are correct, each time I refine a piece it usually loses some of raw emotion that was felt in that moment. What the finished piece loses, it also gains a more refined flow and finished touch. Usually the people that want to feel my words get more from my first versions and the perfectionist and critics get more out of my second. Thank you again for commenting on both.... ;)
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A former member wrote:
its amazing how humans can be to be able to speak lie better then truths,,,,if ppl could only be honest....
well done
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On Wednesday, November 12, 2014, Damon Tarloth
(143) wrote:
Your words remind me of a poem that I read a few weeks ago, when a girl said "I wish everyone would never lie and always tell the truth and the world would be a much better place". After reading that I actually challenged her to be 100% truthful and honest to everyone she talked to for 1 week. She couldn't opt to say nothing instead of saying what she thought and felt about whatever topic was being discussed. For example: She goes to her (Erica)friend's house to pick her up for lunch and after they will hang out for a few hours. Before they leave, Erica says, how do I look? At this moment it's almost a reaction to say; Girl! You look Hot! like usual... and then they would walk out the door. When in fact, she is really thinking this..." She looks good, but could look way better if she changed her shoes as they do not go with that outfit at all. Her hair style needs a definite makeover and she has a small chip in her black nail polish that she touched up, but was poorly done. That lie that she tells is for her friend's benefit. When the truth would hurt her friends feelings and self-esteem. Needless to say, the girl turned down my challenge and removed the line about lies in her poem. I hear what you are saying and I know you basically mean the lies that people spin to hide or cover up something that they or someone else did wrong, or said to to hurt others. And not the white lies that we all say to make the people around us feel good. I used to think the same until I was hit with a dilemma to tell someone that their husband had cheated on them. I could expose what happened and ruin their lives or keep my mouth shut and let the fantasy that they were living continue on. I almost said something until someone gave me some advice. They said; what gives you the right to change that woman's life. Maybe it will be better or maybe it will be worse, and if it is worse, it is your fault. You didn't make her husband cheat. That part is true, and he is definitely a piece of crap. But you would be the one to bring her all the pain and the road that follows after will be your doing and not his, because it will be your words that lite the match. So again, what gives you the right to change her life? I kept my mouth shut, as it's not my place to change her life. A lot of the time, people know what is really going on, as they can feel it deep down inside of themselves. But they choose to ignore the truth, because it will hurt too much. If I would of told her, she might of hated me for ruining her life, or have been grateful to know the truth, or maybe she already knew he was cheating, but chose to look the other way. But now she can no longer look the other way, because I smacked her in the face with the Painful Truth! Damon Tarloth "Sometimes the truth brings more pain than the lies that conceal the truth."
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A former member wrote:
Well.. I like both of them.. Impressive. And congratulations for the 2nd place :)
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On Wednesday, June 25, 2014, Damon Tarloth
(143) wrote:
Thank you very much for your comments on this one and the others. I am reading some of yours also. I got a first place on "Purely Tainted" and a 3rd place on "Seductive Pain" you have already read that one... Thanks again...
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A former member wrote:
I really relate to this and it is kind of amazing the way people can hurt each other and yet continue to care and love each other its all kind of twisted in a way. absolutely stunning
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On Wednesday, May 21, 2014, Damon Tarloth
(143) wrote:
I agree with ya, it is crazy how people can do so much to each other and stay together many of the times...
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