Losing Control

By SinisterSkittles

I'm out of my mind
Maybe it'll end this time
Pretend to be asleep
To keep myself sleek

A layer of mass
I think I'll have to pass
Pull on a shirt
So no one sees how much it hurts

Wait for it to heal
Then break another seal
Maybe all of this is just too much to deal
I don't wanna eat another meal

A tear falls as the blade kisses my skin
Wanting to get rid of the thick layers within
My arms are clean
They won't see
All the harm it does to me

A layer of mass
I think I'll have to pass
Pull on a shirt
So no one sees how much it hurts
When a blade puts on a curse
When it's too much to deal
I don't want another meal

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Tuesday, April 8, 2014. Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

I don't want people to see the scars on my sides, and I don't wanna eat ):

Comments on "Losing Control"

A former member wrote: Hmmm real hunger, that crippling pain is so underestimated. You have my sympathy for what you're going through, although I doubt that means much. This is a saddening write and all I can really do is hope you feel better soon.
On Tuesday, April 29, 2014, SinisterSkittles (41) wrote:

Thanks, it's a little better than it was when I wrote it... but yeah lol
A former member wrote: I can't tell you anything that you haven't heard before but I will tell you that you have my support. You sound like you're in so much pain and sometimes it just helps to have some. Trust me.
On Tuesday, April 8, 2014, SinisterSkittles (41) wrote:

It helps to have some pain, I do agree, but too much pain.. like now.. It's hard, but I'm glad you understand
On Tuesday, April 8, 2014, Allen (156) wrote:

Ahh i hide mine also blood stains are hard to get out. look, friend, no matter how dark and in pain you are the blade doesn't help. it hurts. find someone to talk to. even me i would be glad to talk. juat know you aren't alone in this. many care. here on dp most would love to help go to cut it out cabal and talk
On Tuesday, April 8, 2014, SinisterSkittles (41) wrote:

I know a lot of people would like to help, but I don't know anyone that would actually know how much it hurts, I know people online probably do but someone in person might be there a bit more...