Hating Myself for You

Laid it all out there
Put it on the line
I stand here with nothing now… 
Alone to die 
with no hope for romance
the emotions are so mixed
it’s like a depraved school yard dance

twisted up in my own thoughts
wishing for something a little more pure
I can’t feel any sanctity here
I can’t feel anymore

I could never quit you 
For better or for worse
I’ll lie in waiting 
I’ll be truth in deliverance

Silently holding bated breath
I seize at the thought of it breaking
Holding on to this something
something that was never there

for fear of rejection
damnation
and irreverence 
I will stay here watching
Hanging on every moment as the first and last
This forced line of reason is what I detest

Emotion has no rules in logical thought
Logical thought has no place inside the heart

I have no place where this road parts

Looking through this blood stained window showcases my tortured soul 
a damnable visage of a man lost in his own existence
To taste your purity would bring me bliss

Alas I do feel…
I feel you from a distance