The pen is mightier than the knife

I write because I can
I write because when I speak
No one understands
They do not see me with my doubts
They do not see me bleed inside out

Would it be wrong to die outside in
Is it really such a sin?
I am dead inside out
There is no hesitation
There is no doubt

The power of words
Inflicted damage on my heart
In hopes to cure the pain
I shut it all out
The world looses it's color
It becomes grey
I no longer can tell between night and day

It's all the same in saturated light
The people exist, but I cannot speak
The people exist' but I cannot touch
The people exist, but it's still too much

I feel no peace
I feel only pain
I wonder what is left for me to gain

I ask why am I afflicted
With a life such as this
Why must I exist

I did not ask to be this way
To bleed inside out
To go without love
To know only pain
To know only doubt

To know despite how I feel,
there will always be pain that can never be killed,
that it will afflict me no matter how hard I try
and in the end make me want to die