Day in and day out i live my life yet it is not the true life i live.
Little by little i let poeple(my family and friends) see what i really am.
For i am a troubled, disturbed, and twisted woman,
full of Hate and anger. I've been told to let go of this hate and anger by close friends with promises for happyness and to forgive that horrid man,so i say i have but in actuality i haven't. I NEVER WILL.
It is sad that my friends accept me as i really am. I hide nothing from them in fear that they will one day get sick of me and reject me.In fear that i will be cast out into that cold and left to die again, as i have been before by well i don't know what to call them. But i do know that they said i scared them and that i was weird so the ran, ran fare away from me. I tried to run after them ,so i thought it was a game, i couldn't catch them. I stopped runing and walked. Soon i stopped walking and all i could do i stand there and cry. I cried tears of true pain. I made no sound just tears.
[there was died silence]

What is family?
All family is are poeple that cause u pain and anguish.
At least that is all my family causes me.
So damn self centered, happy in their igronent bliss, and everything is as they want it or it is wrong. Wrong in their ways. Wrong in there belifes. Have no care for what i have to say about things and about what i want to happen to me, too life, to this family.


For many years i thought that i was doing things wrong. So i would beat me self up inside my head. Now i now the truth(or so i think) yet I am still beating my self up in my head.

My family has fucked me up (especialy that horid man).

My friends say well at least u have ur sanity but little do they know i have that no more. I haven't had that for a long time know.

To end that pain.
To stop the hate.
There is only one way. But for now i live.