Slide that door open.I feel that cold wind bite my flesh.It is welcome, yet extremely painful.Welcome because it is familiar.The pain it brings is something that tells me I'm still alive.The razor sharp edges of my teeth slide down along my lower lip and cut deep.The metallic taste of my blood seeps into my mouth.'I have demons to visit before I can rest.'I see them circle me.I step further into the door, and know that this is the way it must be.Their faces show me pictures of things that used to be everyday life.You smile and your grin lights a fire inside of me.Before it gets too high, it is doused by the next face...He shows me my life without you.I cringe.Shiver.Understand that this is where I need to be.I deserve these things.And this is what I visit constantly.No one sees the pain that is caused me, sometimes more than once a day.But ALWAYS before I lay my head down at night.I beg for the good memories. The demons know I don't deserve that.The wind picks up, slicing my flesh ever so gently.Small droplets fall into the nothingness that is what I currently stand on...I realize that there is no floor, and as I spin in circles, falling forever, another demon confronts me.This one has the face of an infant girl.Her hair dark, her smile yours, her eyes mine.I shove this one away from me.I have buried this demon so many times that I cannot count them.Suddenly, I am alone...........................................................falling.............................no noise reaches me............................The next demon swims into view.This one shows me ur mangled form.Your injuries, broken parts, that I reach for and cannot heal.My hands slide through your flesh, and though I have the knowledge, I cannot fix you.I scream.I drop to hard-packed sand.My knees hit, and I reach for the ski.I know that my face isn't the one in your vision.Though your eyes are open, I am not what you see.It kills me to be so helpless.I am losing you.I hear your pulse fading.Blood is coating me, my exposed arms are sticky with it.I run to find help, but my screaming is useless.I drag you nearer to the only life that I can find.Then I'm falling again...A demon with a small boy's face on it forms out of nothing in front of me.The boy's face becomes deformed as his head changes shape with the thing growing inside...I take out my knife to try and alleviate the boys pain.But as I slice into his head, the boy is gone.And my pain is replaced once again, by your smile.You swim to the surface.You are but a ghost. You limp, carrying a cane for stability.Your arm, seemingly strong, aches uncontrollably.Your heart beat reaches my ears, the smell of the fur that noone else can detect reaches my nostrils.Your ability to smell my excitement is as acute as ever...I land on concrete, knowing I only reside here momentarily.I run to you.You hold your arms open, and I bury myself in your smell, your waiting strength.Though you were almost lost to me, you have returned to reclaim me.I breath deep the wonderful aroma of your eternally, slightly damp fur.The woods that you reside in call to me from that moisture.I beg for you to take me.You remind me of my place, and I kneel.My heart soars to know you live.My knee feels the concrete, my neck feels the leather, my body feels your energy.These demons are being kind.Suddenly, you are gone as swiftly as you were there.I cry out, searching for you with every sense that I have.I ache at night when you are apart from me.These demons show me all the things that I am losing.They promise to haunt me every day I am apart from you.I know that I belong to you.Know that I need to be in front of you.I breath deep, and part of me finds you.And a very small part of my spirit is at piece for it.But that is all I need to defeat these demons.I build that belonging, that possession you have over me, into a powerful red orb inside of me.I feel it gain energy, and just at it's peak, I allow it to flow from my body.As it does, these demons disappear.A million ashes take their place, and I am left to sleep soundly for a moment.But it could be just a moment, it could be the rest of the night....I step out that door, the cold wind stopping when I shut it behind me.I will rest, until I must enter there again.If it means seeing you and your wonderful grin, then I will continue to enter.Until the next time,know that I hold you close as you do me,know that I love you more daily,know that no matter what happens, i am your property.I beg for the day to bear your permanent mark. I await patiently for the day when I will be able to carry it with pride.I shall visit you as often as possible, my love.Until next time, I love you.Deeper than anyone,longer than all that have walked this earth,and more than any human can ever fathom.