Fake
By maliceman
i cAn't eat, i can't sleep.
what the hell have
you done to me?
for once i wish that i was bLind,
because your image never leaves my mind.
we laYed
in your bed, and then you kissed me,
but now you act like you don't
miss me.
you Say that you want to sleep with me,
but anytime i offer you say you're busy.
you're just a friend,
i think,
it's so confuSing.
i wonder if you
find
this so amusing.
your lips, like gold, but they're just
gilded;
and you're a rose, but you've wilted.
i'm so confused,
and i don't know why
my heArt skips a beat when
i look in your eyes.
you're an enchantress, and i'm under your spell.
if you let go, i'm headed straight to hell.
and yes, i've loved
with other girls,
but you're the one that rocks my world.
you're just a friend, i think,
it's so confusing.
i wonder
if you find
this so amusing.
your lips, like gold, But
they're just gilded;
and you're a rose, but you've wilted.
i've cut myself on illusions of your love.
the venom has consumed
me, but it's not enough;
it's never enough.
you're just
a friend, I think,
it's so confusing.
i wonder
if you find
this so amusing.
your lips, like gold, but they'Re just
gilded;
and you're a rose, but you've wilted.
Is my heart
supposed to beat like this?
Is it supposeD to beat
at all?
Oh, you take my breath away;
The more i love you, the
harder i fall...
Author's Note:
the occurences in this poem are (almost) completely fictional. any references to someone i know are completely happenstance..Comments on "Fake"
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A former member wrote:
Very well said. :)
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On Thursday, September 1, 2011, terris crimson
(167) wrote:
thats it... I am officially in love with this poem. ^^ this is one of your best in my personal opinion
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A former member wrote:
You intrigue me. I'm not exactly sure why. Hm. This piece intrigues me as well. I understand why I'm allured to it, don't exactly know why I relate to it. But good.
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On Friday, April 29, 2011, mysterylove
(97) wrote:
ah.. i know that one. gotta stand on your ground but yeah i like how it flows :)
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A former member wrote:
love it its a really good poem
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On Friday, February 11, 2011, 10 Forty Three
(543) wrote:
This was a good. I liked the repetition. Keep up the great work.
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On Tuesday, February 8, 2011, maliceman
(32) wrote:
i believe i have fixed the you're and they're problems. as for the capitalization, it has its own meaning
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On Tuesday, February 8, 2011, Scarrzz
(235) wrote:
I like the rise and fall of the structure and flow. It creates an imbalanced feeling, like being on the precipice of either love or doom, unsure as to which way you'll fall. - It would have been more engaging but the oddly capitalized letters here and there were somewhat distracting. Also the lack of contractions took me out of the work's flow. Your is posessive, and You're is the contraction for you are. The same issue with "their." You used it correctly in the "you're a rose, but you've wilted" line. Sorry but I'm a touch obsessive about those things. - The meaning behind the poem was very familiar and oh so true. - Welcome to DP.