I pray for me and thank you for loving me!

no thoughts in this dark mind, not even a soul in this body. A large mass of flesh and nothing to really see! Just a motionless body, an empty corpse, a fragile mind that it decaying in time. A black heart that longs, desires, and needs love to feel real! Why must man be created so? So unclean, full of diseases, and constantly trying to fight the world!? When will we ever be able to just sit in a giant circle and set our differences aside, throw our grief, sorrow, misery, pain, dislikes, and jealousy away! Just be free and full of life? Instead we bring so much pain upon ourselves and isolate our bodies from our minds! How do I know... for i have been doing this the whole time! Living behind lies, letting others take control over me, never really being free for the right reasons. the right reason is me. So as I struggle to be a better person, no as I struggle to be a better me, I open my eyes and allow the light to hit my pupils and brighten my mind. I refuse to let the devil in and destroy gods vessel or even the walls of the temple I have built up around me. I will grow stronger in the lord and in my faith and I know that the almighty will show me the way. For god is the almighty and his light will brighten even my darkest times. And right now is a dark time, and he will help clear the clouds in my mind! Although I admit to my wrong decisions in the past and my ex girlfriend saying that I was engaged is a lie! Well not so much a lie. Married to jesus and trying to survive in this cold corps! I realize now that I am nowhere as strong as I used to be, heck not even close to where I thought I was. I am just a helpless soul wanting to pick himself back up off the ground! Show no mercy on me, no pity, And where I am in your concious, and in the back of your mind is to kind of a home for me. I thank you for your hospitality and apologize for breaking you down slowly untill you cracked from pressure and shattered!