What Do I Do Wrong?
By j-rod
There's a guy who tries his best,
Never gets mad or shows his stress,
Works full time an goes to school,
What do u think? Does he sound cool?
When it comes to women, something’s wrong,
It's not about his looks, or about how long,
He doesn't cheat, and he hasn't lied,
But something about him leaves him tied..
He's a friend to everyone who needs one,
But when he needs one, he finds none.
He's there to support whoever calls,
But looks to no one when he falls..
But who should he look to?
To whom does he go?
His best friends are busy.
He lets nobody know...
He's always been cheated,
Lied to and left to rot,
He hates himself as it is,
He'd rather be shot...
He's cut an overdosed,
He's smoked himself stupid,
He's drank till he dropped,
An he's been shot by cupid...
Love is fucked up and he knows,
That loving him really blows...
Not sure why, but it sucks,
How girls cheat on him with little fucks..!
His history is grainy and blurry,
The future is coming in a hurry.
He's so lost and lonely,
And cries "just please hold me"...
He once again,
Lost another friend.
On one, he thought, he could depend...
Life's the pitts....
Dunno why...
So many shits...
And I’m just a passerby...
Comments on "What Do I Do Wrong?"
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On Friday, January 16, 2009, urbanhumility
(1175) wrote:
another house perfectly described and decorated.......may i stay.....well done
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On Friday, December 7, 2007, elisa
(1616) wrote:
i love the content .. thought.. and structure. ...perfectly peculiar. nicely done.
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On Friday, December 7, 2007, j-rod
(14) wrote:
Thanks for the feedback guys... I'm not really here to brag about peotry skills or whatever.. I honestly don't find my stuff very intriguing anyway.. i jus write what's on my mind in moments of higher emotion.. Jus life stuff is all.. I'll get more stuff up soon enough.. Thanks again for the feedback..
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On Thursday, December 6, 2007, thelostmessenger
(112) wrote:
i agree with Nuri... but ya know, we all start like this... i mean, i think im good now, so i'm sure you'll only get better. Welcome. [i've come to love this place and i'm sure you will too] =] *messenger
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On Thursday, December 6, 2007, nur hidayah
(116) wrote:
I used to write just like this. The poem itself is nostalgic. I felt you could go deeper with this instead of just stating what is. Welcome.
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On Thursday, December 6, 2007, Sketso
(435) wrote:
...and the only way left... is up. Welcome to DP.
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On Thursday, December 6, 2007, palenoble
(47) wrote:
hitting the bottom is the most precious thing that can happen to you you should be happy that u know how being unhappy feels like
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A former member wrote:
compelling and honest...I think there are many people crammed into the same boat as you..welcome to DP