Lacking Luster

These moments are fleeting, but time stands still like eternity.
Passing through a void of shimmering darkness,
to captivate the senses, to stand paralyzed before the beating of my heart.
My voice is lacking, the contemplating, and realization, that I am no longer awake.
Moving through these awkward days, where just getting by is fine,
The lack of interest in the wind blowing through the trees, I’ve lost
An essence of myself with time.
I stand traumatized, unable to tell you I need something more,
Because hope has died, there are no tears, I given freely, myself to lies.
That there is no magic here, no gleaming in the eye where once there use to shine the Sun,
But memories, tortured and screaming, begging for release from a twilight-dreaming.
Of faces twisted and sulking, smiles clearly stapled on, but I know you’re not happy.
I’ve been there, searching for things that I shall never find, in a pretending state that you could ever offer more than this.

Indeed, you were only meant for this.

I felt something more before. Fleeting happiness beyond this waking world, and the voices of people I once knew, have become tragic.
Their faces, torn away, to leave only a fog, so easily seen through.
There is no substance here, and I wish to leave.
To feel what once I felt, and to know what I knew then was truth.
Beauty has melted from this plastic world, because the anguish in my heart has burned it all away.
I believe there is no coming back; the luster of the world is bleak and ragged.
I can find no peace within this knowing, this itching in the back of my skull,
That I am just digging for answers that shall only place this body in a hole,
I fear I wont even choose to crawl up from.