untitled

these gears have long since lost their fossil fuel
and these fingers have been deprived of the finest art
and the ability to put the darkest of secrets on exhibition
so i return to put myself back on display
because you used to be my everything

with each glance of disappointment,
comets of gold and scarlet plummet from your irises
masked only by piano smiles and home cooked meals,
mediocre attempts at conversation and empty gestures
but i know how you feel and you know that it's your own damn fault
that i am stuck tracing my looped destiny with this abandoned pen
while the Fates join you in celebration of my failure
you must find me a fool, mother, if you believe i am alone in the dark
because i have lived in the black since i left
and i am comfortable in this skin;
this asylum of flesh and bone that i call home

i am in firm belief that you were put on this planet to test my limits
to steal my spirit as if tearing veins from grated skin
and i see myself as a mermaid harpooned to his rocky shores
as you once were yourself, whore, now tied by blood
and i pray that one day i can be bound to him in the same way
and that one day you will be gone from our lives
even if it may diminish the light in the kin i have come to love as my own
because i am tired of your forked tongue
and i am tired of your presence
you are not welcome in my home

and there is so much more to whisper into your crevices, my friend
but now i have so much more time
because you are my everything again.