Abhorrence Of Mortality

I find myself laying alone...
I've cried myself to sleep...
When I wake, I lost myself to torment

Ethereal dreams can be quite pervasive...
I didn't want to wake up - damn conscience...
All those innuendos given while you're asleep

Maybe if I had the will to live...
If I knew it could get better...
I wouldn't be running the water

The steam clouds the bathroom mirror...
Listen to the splashing as the tub fills...
I can feel the cold tiles against my bare feet

All of my thoughts are streamlined...
I'm focused on the task ahead of me...
I'm almost impatient, almost unstable

I turn the knobs around the faucet...
The water ripples around the top of the tub...
You can hear the rythmic drips of the draining pipes

I go to my dresser and open the top drawer...
That's what I was looking for...
I grab a towel and walk back to the bathroom

I lay out the fabric next to the porcelain...
I put the knife on the towel and stare...
It's fascinating what kind of thoughts go through your head

I take a look around...
I'm satisfied with my surroundings...
I can't believe it's almost time

I lift my right leg and place it in the bathtub...
My skin sets afire when it touches the water...
I sit down indian style and bow my head



Drip...

My right hand closes around the handle

Drip...

I rest my left arm across my legs

Drip...

I make a fist with the same arm

Drip...

When they meet, my eyes well with tears

Drip...

My wrist opens; the blood diffuses in the water

Drip...

It's rather beautiful but what am I hearing?

Drip...

Is it my tears? My eyes are heavy...

Drip...

Drip...

Is it the blood from my wrist? I'm feeling a little tired...

Drip...

Drip...

Drip...

Is it the faucet? I lean back and let the pink surround my face...

Drip...

Drip...

Good night my love, good night.

--David C Martin--