I want to walk away

don't you know?

A hop, skip and a jump through this forest.

I want to throw myself on the crimson earth

and tear this all away,

rip apart my butchered being....

I want to scream with the stars

cast a hollow shadow on these hands,

I want to fly with the dying moon

eat this cancer in my stomach.

And prevention is better than cure...

they can't cure you.

Do you think for one second that these wings are made of flight?

That if I believe in this more than life itself

that perhaps I would lift off the ground?

My black wings silently moving through the night,

the air visible on my lips;

the time visible in my eyes...

what I know

what I see

and this is how I fall....




The black satin draped around my body;

a young voluptuousness I cannot hide.

The tainted blood stained upon my lips,

the blood you spilt

the wounds you created,

like a vampire inside my soul.

And can I force these words from my throat?

Can I force these abnormal cells from my womb?

I fear this more than hell,

more than the constraints of depression;

I fear this will take my life more than I've feared my own hands!

And I want to run,

I want to make this drain away.

Depression I can drown with alcohol and false loves,

life I can bear with moments of laughter;

this?......

I cannot escape from this.

No matter how far I walk

no matter how much I throw myself to the crimson earth;

no matter how I scream or pretend

or if my wings perchance would fly.

It is in me

it is alive,

and all i can do is prayer.