When You Say That

By Sepulcrawl

The tides of the day
Reave you from place

Grandeurs of time.

Somewhere the resolute
Intergenerate with the

Dancing dregs.

It wasn’t much else
Opiates in the mornings

Jamaican showers.

Why I turned about
I shall never understand

Perfect sight for perfect minds.

And beheld your face
Weathered and wrought

Like old leather.

When I wonder about
Times passed

I see you.

Death in the light of day
The diminution of sight

Plagued interstellar lights.

Where downs revive
And flesh is rent

Seven ways from remiss.

When the demure
Silence rings in your ears

Much as a passed star,

You will have seen my
Lead in the auspices of

Lightning remnants.

Coming to bear in
White clefts of

Salt flats.

I had sooner thought you
Dead than another

Conglomerate of

The chastity of the woe
For the sevenfold tense

Of a lightning day.

I postulate that
You may again soar

In space below.

Yours was the evidence
Of a life spent searching

For that last remnant of time:

The vertebrate condition.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2007 Neurosis
Published on Friday, May 11, 2007.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "When You Say That"

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  • Mylissa On Thursday, May 17, 2007, Mylissa (845)By person wrote:

    This explodes with passion, I enjoy your words, flow and the way it reached to me. Outstanding.

  • Sepulcrawl On Thursday, May 17, 2007, Sepulcrawl (78)By person wrote:

    sweetheart, you drive me to be a better man ;]

  • Cattarax On Thursday, May 17, 2007, Cattarax (216)By person wrote:

    The wording in this is remarkable ... I had to read it twice to fully understand everything you were trying to say .. :) ~T~

  • A former member wrote: "Plagued interstellar lights" This is real (I could say much more, but I'll keep it 'to the point'). Perfect final line.

  • A former member wrote: I'm speechless. This was truly amazing

  • Sepulcrawl On Sunday, May 13, 2007, Sepulcrawl (78)By person wrote:

    go to hell

  • A former member wrote: "And flesh is rent"...and we can never own...I don't feel that your meaning is compromised by your word choice.you reflect the deterioration of body and time. Another wonderful write, my friend. ~Meg

  • stormtalk On Friday, May 11, 2007, stormtalk (729)By person wrote:

    the last line is excellent, but your word choice too often overshadows your meaning

  • Sepulcrawl On Friday, May 11, 2007, Sepulcrawl (78)By person wrote:

    I think I see where you are coming from. However, I am not totally sure I don't wish for a departure from form. I am unsure what to do about it -- perhaps every poem needs a problem.

  • stormtalk On Friday, May 11, 2007, stormtalk (729)By person wrote:

    the question is, are you writing for you or for everyone else? if the first, excellent... if the second, i think they'll get more out of it if they understand it (provided that you aren't just showcasing the verbal aesthetics)

  • A former member wrote: Either Metallica, or metallica. Always for the self (unless for someone dedicated). I know I don't make sense half the time, but I always like the feel... when I try to write a Quality Structured poem, it useually doesn't feel like me, and thus it sucks.

  • Sepulcrawl On Saturday, May 12, 2007, Sepulcrawl (78)By person wrote:

    You could be dead right, or you could be full of shit. i have not yet decided. Perhaps you do not possess the intellectual accuity to understand this -- perhaps few to none do

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