Fred and His Priorities

Fred got off on the last stop.
When he got there someone wanted his eggs.
He wanted his eggs, "When Hell freezes over!"
Yes, he did want his eggs.
"You better go check.", someone said.
So Fred got on a cow and rode to Hell.
Hell had not froze over, so he went to talk to the devil about selling his eggs.
Satan thought that Fred should keep his eggs, but Satan wanted to sell Hell.
He didn't enjoy it anymore.
So Fred bought Hell for his soul.
Fred left Hell and went to work.
"Hey Fred, can I have your roller coaster?", someone asked.
"Go take a flying fuck to the moon!", Fred yelled.
"Well, you better go find out if the moon can have sex first, Fred."
So Fred rode his bike to the moon.
The man on the moon was there and said he could have sex, but he didn't want it.
He's bored and wants to leave with Satan.
He sugested that Fred could put his roller coaster on the moon.
So Fred bought the moon for his emotions.
Fred returned to earth.
Soon someone said, "Hey Fred, can I have your computer?"
"For Heaven's sake, no!
"Fred, does Heaven really care?"
So Fred took a bus to Heaven.
God was there and said that Heaven didn't really care.
God was tried and wanted to leave.
"Computers are good," said God, "but here, I offer you Heaven!"
So Fred bought Heaven for his intelligence.
Fred went home.
It was late by now.
His wife was mad and they had a fight.
She called him a liar because his nose was growing.
He wanted to know what exactly a lie was.
"Go ask your friend Pinocchio!" his wife screamed.
Now Pinocchio wasn't a friend of Fred's and Fred's nose wasn't growing.
However, he decided it was a good idea.
So Fred got thousands of ants to carry him down into the sewer.
To the depths of Pinocchio's world.
Pinocchio was there and he said that a lie was all in the mind.
So Fred's lie was all in his wife's mind.
But, Pinocchio wanted to leave, but couldn't unless he got rid of his nose.
So Fred bought Pinocchio's nose for his personality.
Latter that day Fred's eggs broke when he dropped Pinocchio's nose,
when on his roller coaster that stopped upsidedown,
when his computer shorted-out.
And, why did this happen?
Because Fred was a lie.
But, Satan, The Man Who Use to Be on the Moon, God, and Pinocchio
are having a wonderful time together touring the universe forevermore.
Amen.