A mind’s conversation with it’s heart

If I never see you again will I still be alive?
If I’m alive will I spend every moment waiting to die?
If I die will you miss me?
Will you notice I’m gone?
If you notice, what words will you say over my grave?
Will they be kind?
Will they be of hate
Or Will you grant me a tear....
A tear you have so long held from the world
Will you let your emotions go?
Or will you hold them in
Oh I wonder...
I know the answers I would give
I know the feelings I would feel
I know if given the chance I wouldn't trade places with you
Not out of hate
But out of love
I wouldn't want you to grieve as I would
I wouldn't want you to hate life’s irony as I would
I wouldn’t want you to be cursed with endless sleepless nights
I would want you to be happy…
…
Happy in that hole in the earth that has stolen you from me
Happy for you would see my love long after your gone
And possibly know the true depth of my love for you
For no words on this earth would let me express my love completely
So maybe in heaven you will see in my soul
See the overwhelming care, compassion, And love I carry for you
And maybe you will see as you watch over me
Maybe you will see how I shall never love again…
Maybe you will want me too
But I shall not
I can not
There is room in my heart for only you
There is room for only one love
A love so great its span lasts longer then that of existence
A love so great the devil himself will try to tear it apart
A love so great
Even DEATH
With all its pains
All its heart aches
All its endless suffering
EVEN this
The most feared thing in the world
More feared then any weapon
More feared then any devil
Even THIS
THIS DAMNED CURSE OF LIFE
CANT KEEP ME FROM LOVING YOU MORE THEN LIFE ITSELF
PLEASE OH PLEASE
GOD IF I AM TO DIE
PLEASE LET WHOM I LOVE DIE BEFORE ME
LET THEM NOT HAVE TO FEEL
SUCH MISERY
LET THEM DIE IN MY ARMS
AS THEY FALL ALSEEP ONE LAST TIME IN MY LOVE