i cry out in my dreams

trickles of blood run down my neck,
rolling onto this almost strangers bed,
i thought it would be fun.

the false sene of your security luls me to sleep at night,
i want to be loved,protected,wanted,needed.
all ive ever wanted is love someone to want me someone to hold my heart in thier hand and cherish it like golden lullabies.

i have little prayers in my head little notions that only are from me,
yet i let my mind wonder so that theese words come from lovers mouths,
yet i have dreamt a thousand dreams and none seem to be my reality.

just a dream....

Just a lonely thought drifting through my cold lonely and bitter nights,
even though i am not alone tonight i can stil taste thier bitter lonely taste in my mouth.

The lonely taste of my meaningless emotions,
just that taste of being used that taste of emoionles cruelty i am being exposed to,
the true meaning of my undying secret power,
the power of my heart,
that one power that has that one meaning.

now my dreams always become nightmares,
so in the harsh light of day,
in my harsh world of lust ridden sex i am compossed to my only dreams,
my day dreams i force to make real.

even for a moment....

like stars twinkling through that obscenely darkened sky,
for one moment can i be loved?
i only dream,
can only shroud myself in others realitly,
in the fantasy of chick flick films,

only in thier roses and thier happy endings can i truely live,
for my life is nothing but a mess,
a loveless selfish mess.