i asked the warden

I asked the warden
To let me out
To unlock the door
And unchain the shackles
Of society
Of love
Of expectations;
To be free.

He looked at me with eyes full of tears
“why do you want to leave?” he said

I thought of the reasons
Why I wanted to break free-
Depression, no self-worth, unforgivable thoughts,
Wanting him to have more than what I can offer.

“I can’t stay” I said
you cannot cage this bird

I flew away
So high
So far

I asked the warden
To take me back
To hold me close
And never let me go
Forever
Always
Never apart;
To be together again

He didn’t even look at me
“we’re not meant to be” he whispered

I thought of the reasons
Why I wanted him back-
Love, feeling, emotion, our future, our happiness,
Wanting to feel his body and soul against mine for the rest of my life.

“I love you” I said
I was wrong a million times

I lingered all day
All week
Every month

(for the rest of my life)