Moments of Jealousy and Rage
by Maura Donnelly


Jealousy fills my worthless veins as I watch her in total disgust. Why does she always do this? Does she find pleasure in tormenting me in every way that her little emaciated body can think of? Everyone knows shes anorexic...she takes pride in showing off her disease. And I hate her for it. I despise her very existence. I smell the stinging scent of her perfume as she floats by on her perfect cloud, flipping her glossy brown hair in my face with her georgeous big sapphire eyes glowing with radiance. She casts me under her spell again as I stare at her, wanting to follow her beauty forever. Her curves are perfect in every way, even if she is emaciated. I feel warm drool dripping down my chain. Caniving little snake...thats how she works. She lusts people like me into her trap and before you know it...shes got us twirled around her finger doing everything her desires want. Little Bitch! I want her to die in the unholy falmes of Satan himself. Yet I love her. I admire her for her strength...oh god. It's happening again.

Before I go on with the story, I'm Felicia Hunger, one of the most hated people at Ridgebrook High. People hate me because I'm different. But I'm not one of those derranged minds in the school that everyone is scared of. I just dont have pleasant interactions with my peers. But then again, I never have any interaction wtih them unless I have to. I know, it's sad. I have no friends at all, yet I rejoice in my lonliness. You could say I am a lone wolf.

My best and only friend is Sarah Flanders, a popular preppy blonde cheerleader that is loved by every guy in our grade...maybe even the whole school. She's the only one in this hellhole of a school that actually gives a fuck about me. I'm lucky to have her, simply because her body is amazing. Her perfectly shaped 36 C breasts rest high on her chest, bouncing when she walkes or even laughs. I must admit that she excites me to an extent, but she'll never want a freak like me. I'm surprised shes ever talking to me at all, I disgust myself. I wouldnt want to hang out with me...and that's saying something. Even the freaks and goths at my school reject me, which is rather strange, because I'm just like them in ways and clothes, so why do they leave me out? Easy. Because I leave them out.

I'm not what you would say a very attractive person in my regular daily routine. I have died black hair with pink tips, black eyeliner layed on thick in an expert design my own disturbed mind has crafted. My signature clothes are Vampirish to an extent. I'm into vampires and witches and shit. I want to be a vampire one day. To reach that goal, I spend as little time as I can outside when its day time, since vampires are allergic to sunlight. Weird? Thats why people hate me. Well, they really dont hate me. They just dont want anything to do with a morbid vampire loving wannabe like me. I cant live without chains. Chains and spikes are my number one accesories, and I will never go anywhere wtihout them, unless its church. But I dont really even go to church now. The thought of praising God disgusts me. I would rather roast in the rampaging flames of hell than to go to church and take in the bible thumper's brainwashing.

Im just about 5'3 and 110 pounds, maybe even 115...not the skinniest tool in the shed by far. Im not very athletic like the other girls in my grade; the only sport I tried was in freshmen year. Volleyball. That was a bust. I was so out of shape i couldnt even run for 2 minuets without falling down and rotting in the demise of my respiratory system. I really should've have stopped smoking then, but hey! If you cant do the work you're dead wieght. And I was dead weight; so I dropped out and became what I am now. On another note, my personality is very interesting, in a very distrubing way if you know what I mean. A normal day for me consists of skipping classes, freaking people out with my depressing outlook on life, and chains. What can I say? I ostracise my self from my peers, I shut people out of my life and quite frankly, its the way I prefer it.

I would say I'm a goth, since I do fit the so-called fake "standards" that the posers have created. But I'm not into that Hot Topic shit. That shit is fuckin cheap as hell and trashy. Thats the one store I hate the most besides Hollister and Abercrombie&BItch. Oops I mean fitch. Sarah shops in those types of stores. I cant stand when she drags me in Aeropostale with her bubbly giggles as she torments me with tight pink shirts wiht the words "Princess" written in big fat letters over the chest area. She fits the image. I dont. Opposite attract they say. Our friendship is living proof of it.







Comments and Criticism is greatly needed.....this is the beginning of a novel/short story