The way I feel so helpless, sometimes guilty of such a crime my feelings are not strong enough to overcome your fears, I am ashamed that I am not enough for you to see me. To swallow your tears or numb the pain that you feel, smile and laugh it all away wishes of mine for you to be free, free of the hurt this cruel life has placed upon you that you do not deserve. As strong as you are the knife cuts just as deep as deep as me you bleed red like me and I you but some of us deserve that one person to hold them and save them from falling from time to time I have never had that so I find my strength in helping people, it has been my downfall as well as my strength it hurts so much to see this you……. who has come into my life and no matter what I say or do it is time that is my judge and my jury. Until that day I stand alone awaiting your embrace your touch upon my face your words of wisdom to show my way when my tunnel has gone black. Selfish for this I remain I feel I don’t deserve the joys of love but I hopelessly remain following my heart and all that follows me, past and present to be often bitter cynical and smug sarcastic and aloof but my character is me I wish never to have been shown the hatefulness of the world this place of cold and often misery, but I look at you and I hurt from the hope bottled deep inside so bright and clear because that bullshit life that has been given to us the people who see through that iron curtain we deserve the love joy and compassion of another but how do you know what that person deserves I may never know I may never see or be taught how to love it is not something you can teach or can it? It is not something that can be turned on or off you cannot choose this person or that person Love is love unjust and unforgiving at any level friend or partner. Staring into your eyes I see that person I see me and more than I could ever be…………. amazed by your strength and what and who you are you see all the obstacles and hurdles that you need to overcome before it is time for you,
BULLSHIT no is going to do for you but you but you are like me I am last I am miserable and I go without before I think of me. Unless sometimes a person is too involved directly and sometimes that person needs and without even seeing it a “knight in shinning armor”    X X X
Someone to pick them up or just that rub on the back or kiss on the cheek I know because I can come to tears over something as simple as that because it can feel so good in my heart at that moment it takes my entire mind and body over and I collapse with joy so thankful that someone could care about how I feel and truly have compassion for me without judging me until whenever.............................................................................................