as i lay here in the dark
and not one ray of light
i wonder what it would be like
if i ever had a life

i have fought for so many years
i ahve fought and am close to tears
i know wha it feel like
to get ripped open with hate
i know what it is like to be alone.

but now i wonder
wonder if it was real
i feel as if i am just waking up
i look for a light
to help guide me through
i want to look for something new

but as i stare
all i see
is black
i cant even see me

for he has looked deep inside
and he has succeded to find
my deepest and darkest fear

he is the one
who laughs at my sins
he is the one
who makes the lights dim

and so i have fought
for so many years
i wonder
wonder if it would be easier
just to give up

so i say i have failed
and i watch
watch time pass me by
wondering how long it will take
for m to die.

as i lay here
my heartbeat dims
my brain stops growing
my blood stops flowing

i feel happy now
i see myself
see myself lying there
as the real me
is floating in air

oh and during the journey
i wonder out loud
would it ever end
would it be better
better to fight

but the a voice
that i cannot see
or place
says
you were right
right to come to me

after the voice stopped
i started thinking
yes, i made my choice
there's no going back now

i ahve lost all hope
there is no one to follow
i see myself slowing
i wonder whats going on
i feel myself stopping
when i see a light beyond

whats holding me back
havent i been through enough
i wanted to keep going
but i couldnt go any further
then i wonder
wonder if my time was really over

i thought i would pass
but it wont let me
i wish i could go on
but now i was going back

back to where i lay
hoping that im too late
i dont know why
why cant i die

i guess the time wasnt just right
so i go through another
and yet another
sleepless night

i wish i could die
so i dont feel the pain
i wish i wouldnt feel
the pounding of my brain

i need someone
to turn out the lights
i need someone
to bring on the night

so i can see the blanket
the blanket of death

i want to wrap it all over
all around me...
wrap it so tight
so tight that ill sleep
and stop breathing and faint

and th doctors and nurses
wont be able to help
for my time has come...

if i wanted to live
i would ask for help
but my time has come
and that help is not possible

for i refuse to be lead
lead into the world
this world of feelings
feelings beyond my control