Screaming into my pillow for you

God, please come back to me, come back, come back, come back, I just want you back,
as I sit here vomiting into my shirt, trying to keep the keyboard clean, I wonder why you had to move on.

I wanted to hug you, squeeze you, be with you always, and I wanted to love you, with all of my heart.

But now you want me to move on, "goodnight sweetie, promise me you wont give up on me as a friend..." click. I threw the phone down and sobbed for my mommy and screamed at the top of my lungs for you. I can still taste the vomit in my nose, so bitter, so appropriate, I love you alex.

Why the fuck did God have to fuck me over!??! Why did he need to give up on me and take you away from me?!?! I love you damnit, and he had to take you away and mock me by dangling you on a string in front of me...

I give up, I tried doing everything for her, and she just shot it down cause she needed time. I love you I love you I love you...I still won't get used to saying it, it still feels good coming off my tongue. Move on move on move on, it seems so unnatural, I hate it, I fucking hate it. I hate myself, I have nothing right now that keeps me happy. You are my 30% that I have always wanted. And now I am only 70% me.

Just love me again the way you used too.