A Suicidal's Torment

By scorpionstale

There is a small bottle next to me,
Its label says "LITHIUM CARBONATE 300mg."
I remember a few moments ago when it was full,
But I swallowed them all, one by one by one.

Little by little, I can feel them kicking in,
My right leg is numb and I don't have the strength to move.
"NO, mother, I do not want any dinner,"
Can't you see that I’ve already had my fill?

I lay there, talking to my friends like everything's ok
I always had a way of putting up a facade.
No one can see through me, can see the pain that I'm hiding.
No one cares though, they just pretend.

I'm tired.

The darkness takes over my lonely soul.
I hear nothing but the smooth sound the silence makes.
I drift into a dreamless sleep, full of the darkest night I've ever had.
"God, let it work this time, PLEASE!"
I pray to a god that doesn't exist.

5:30, my alarm clock rings and I get up and turn it off.
I'm still dizzy from the toxins in my bloodstream.
Somehow I manage to drive myself to work, and sigh.
My life is a trap I can never leave, never give up, ever endure.

No matter how many toxins we consume,
How many scars decorate our wrists,
Our lives are our own creations, damnations, incarcerations.
Our fetters to a corpse,
We will never break free.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 scorpoinstale
Published on Saturday, July 10, 2004.     Filed under: "Depressed" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "A Suicidal's Torment"

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  • A former member wrote: beautiful

  • xserratedsoulx On Wednesday, January 18, 2006, xserratedsoulx (212)By person wrote:

    think happens after we die. ~lauren~

  • xserratedsoulx On Wednesday, January 18, 2006, xserratedsoulx (212)By person wrote:

    i love that last paragraph..i'm glad to hear you're sill around for your kid...but taht's still pretty vague... i want to hear about your life, i want to hear about why your kid matters so much to you. i want to know if you belive in god, and what you thi

  • A former member wrote: Another great write..Keep it up :) I'll be eagerly awaiting a fresh piece

  • Vindicated_untouchable On Sunday, July 11, 2004, Vindicated_untouchable (14)By person wrote:

    We seem to be living the same life... You just describe it better... I too pray knowingly to a god that doesnt exist... ~Kittie~

  • darkangelXlll On Saturday, July 10, 2004, darkangelXlll (108)By person wrote:

    "worth it" worth livein for. well my friend excelent write. oh yeah thank you for the tears you left.. ~darlin :P

  • darkangelXlll On Saturday, July 10, 2004, darkangelXlll (108)By person wrote:

    it toke me a couple of seconds to find the words this is so magnific i love it so much i constantly feel like this as if life wasnt worth it all i have to say is what i wish i had have hope and never give up theres always something out there thats "worth

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