In the shower as I cleanse the rods
My mind wanders as I think back
Nearly sixteen months ago
The memory is as clear as yesterday
I smile a bit as I soap my metal trophies
Yes memory clean, clear, sharp
Long had I considered which do I do first
Tattoo or piercings and if the later where
Something settled solidly into place
That hot July day in 2000
And piercings won the honor of first blood
Caught somewhere between being temerarious and timid
I stepped through the shop's door at opening
Before my eyes was this youngster, half my age
And my pulse surged as my mind shrieked
Can I go through with this with this child
And another part of my spirit hardened
Propelling me forward to the piercer's tender care
We entered the shabby but sterile workspace
He closed the shades and directed me to the chair
Like a willing sacrifice I shed my shirt
Baring my full, heavy breasts to his gray gaze
Trembling as he examined pale nipples
Nodding in satisfaction with the area waiting for his art
Place your hands behind your neck
He studied the orbs then marked his targets with a pen
Cold, sterile alcohol, followed by betadine
The rip of packaged sterile piercing sets
The shining steel flash as the forceps rise
Clamping one pert nipple and clasping it
The exquisite pinch as I waited for the needle's kiss
A long deep exhalation as the kiss is completed
Needle removed, ring placed into the catheter's tip
A deep shudder as the ring displaces the catheter
And claims its fleshy home.
Again the rip and the flash of steel
Clamp and clasp and kiss exquisite
And now a second ring has a home
I smile as I recall those first few days
The new intensity of sensation
Cold air-conditioned air as I stepped from the shower
The sleek feel of silk and the soft caress of cotton
Everything has gained a new intensity
A new meaning, a new depth of sensation
Barbells have since replaced the rings
But the change inside is permanent
A frequent grin of devilish delight
For I have traversed into a new realm of spirit
Sensation not just for others but for me
Self-secret that I can share at will
That I have no fear of another revealing unpermissioned
And two steel reminders
Not only can my human spirit be strong
Not only can my human soul be enduring
But they can shine in the night
And survive unharmed like the rods
That caress my aging breasts
And separate me from those that fear the pain
Those that fear the pain of self-acceptance
Self-rule, self-determination and self-destination
I rinse the lather from my treasures
And as I towel off
A blast of air-conditioning
Reminds me of a kiss exquisite
And unlike any other
The kiss of the piercer's needle
And his smile as I left that day
Seeing myself for myself
Almost as if the needle's kiss of my breasts
Had awakened a sleeping side of me
And I smile as I remember
My liberation with the piercer's needle kiss.
16 October 2001 shadowwv