Apathy

Does he call me only because he feels he has to now?
How I wish that I knew.
I would rather be cold and alone than pitied by someone like him.
I dont think he knows what real emotion is.
I think that the mixture of too much amphetamines, regret, and self pity has dulled his senses, clouded his vision, and smeared his intelligence. So much to the extent that he cant see me anymore.
He doesnt know nor does he care that I'm standing here, waiting for him to acknowledge my existence, waiting for him to pay me attention, waiting for him to stop the self loathing long enough to realize that I am here no matter how much he neglects me, waiting for him to stop making me cry, waiting for him to give me a piece of mind, waiting for him to snap out of his own selfish little comfort zone,
waiting for him to show some ebb of emotion,
waiting for him to make me feel like a person,
waiting on him to love me.