When I Think of You

All alone, I stare up into the endless starlit sky,
My hands I cannot keep from shaking, but I futilely try.
My thoughts of late have been only of you,
And despair swallows me, if you only knew.
The heart inside my chest swells with sorrow,
How much I miss you, I can't wait for tomorrow.
For tomorrow seems so very far away,
My heart yearns for you, it does not sway.
When I speak to you, my whole body shivers,
Out of my sorrow and loneliness only you can deliver.
Everything you say, I hold onto as if it is the last thing I'll hear,
And just when I could almost feel you, you just disappear.
My heart burns, it stings, it cries, it screams,
I can only hold you in my delusional dreams.
When I take in air, I think of you,
Even when I stare up at the dusky sky, black and blue.
And every time I pick up the phone, I can almost hear you softly speak,
But it's just my head, without you near, this typically happens in my week.
When I sit down, that puffball I call my cat, jumps onto my lap,
It twists around a few times then gets ready to take a nap.
Then it reminds me of the night that I couldn't choke out those three words,
Even if I meant them completely, what if to you they were absurd?
I said it then, I'll say it now . . . I love you,
I'm so empty inside, I miss you,
My heart is dying, I wonder if you still care?
I'll hold on awhile longer. I hope you know . . . I love you . . .