Shadows of Remembrance

I shut my eyes tightly,
I don't dare look into the mirror.
Were it just as easy to close my mind,
And ignore these remaining thoughts and feelings.
A drop of rain falls onto the floor,
From a dark cold tainted soul,
The winds blow softly into me,
These dreams, this life, continue hopelessly.
In this world there is no sun, there are no stars,
There is no moon, only the dark ghastly shadows,
Which surround my constant morbid mind.
When I wake up, and stare at the ceiling,
Your voice haunts me in my head.
And when I dream at night in silence,
Your touch makes me writhe in ecstasy.
When I wander through the darkness,
It's the longing for you I feel,
With all the sadness inside, how can I eat a meal?
When you speak my heart quivers,
Every bone in my body begins to shiver.
Now that you're gone,
I want to live in cold shadows,
And never again see the light of dawn.
Light only reminds me of the warmth I once felt,
That dying ray of hope that refuses to die.
I'm alone, just like before,
Please no more suffering, no more.
I mean the best with what I say,
I'm sorry to you it doesn't always sound that way.
When I attempt to sleep at night,
I think of you to ease my pain,
But you're so far, far away. . .
These bitter sweet memories of you still linger,
Everything was my fault, in too much pain to point the finger.
When I thought our feelings had died,
I told you I didn't care anymore, I lied.
Had to deny the feeling, destroy the light,
The fear of being close and trusting someone else
The idea of putting my heart and life in to another's hands,
Made me insecure about everything inside my head.
And as I unlock door #6, with memories of only you,
I remember all my faults and knew everything you said was true.
I see so clearly all the stupid things I did and said,
But I know wishing never happens, emotions are too dead.